A widely familiar word yet, the action of true forgiving is rare. This irony exists due to an oblivious misunderstanding of what forgiveness is and who reaps the benefits. We have all been betrayed, mistreated, emotionally/physically abused, and the list goes on indefinitely, but how many of us have let go of all anger, bitterness, revenge, and a negative attitude? Probably very few. If you become irritable at the slightest degree when you think about the person who hurt you, you have not forgiven. It is completely normal to think somewhere along the lines of “it’s not that easy because I have feelings” or “that person does not deserve my kindness” or even “I will forgive, and forget in due time.” I relate, however having this attitude is damaging for our personal maturity and spiritual growth. Why? Because we focus too much on the practicalities of forgiving rather than understanding its strength. It is easy to feel powerless, vulnerable, and susceptible to harm in relation to forgiving. In reverse, it takes work to feel enabled, harmonious, and self-sufficient in relation to forgiving because…
Forgiveness is for YOU!
Allow me to shed light on what it is not:
Forgiveness is not a mutual reconciliation
Forgiving is our way of responding to another person’s injustice which is entirely independent of that person. Reconciliation requires both parties willingness to corporate with achieving an agreement. Perhaps the person who hurt you does not see their fault and act accordingly or, what if you’ve somehow lost all communication. Does this mean forgiving them is impossible?
Forgiveness is not an attempt to forget
Forgiving is an accomplishment following self-proclaimed comprehension of the situation. The likelihood of you forgetting is slim, but the act of forgiving is not challenging you to do so. Instead, it allows you to understand and to live without resentment.
Forgiveness is not a justification for another person’s wrong doing.
Forgiving does not take away from your pain and it does not make the other person right. Your pain is a valid emotion and should never be under minded, but you also deserve peace within your heart.
Please, don’t mistake me for being the guru of forgiveness because I am only speaking from past and current experience. I was involved in four year relationship that put me through every loop you can possibly imagine. I’ve been happy, and I’ve reached the pits of hopelessness. When I reflect on the past, not letting go has been the reason for my inability to heal. In spite of it all, today I am able to recognize how beneficial forgiveness is. I still struggle with it at times, but ultimately I choose my happiness first.